Looking back on past mistakes

Lately, I have been thinking about my first marriage & the mistakes that I made. I'm the first to admit that the fall of my marriage was just as much my fault as his.

To be honest, I don't know how it really feels to be a wife.

When I met my ex, we were young and in love. No one could tell me that years later I would be sitting here typing about what was.

When I look back over my marriage, I realized that I was his mother NOT his wife. I always had to be in control of every thing & never allowed him to be the man. I think it's because I've always had to take care of myself. In my mind, "If I don't do it, who will?" was what I lived by. At the time, I didn't see anything wrong with my actions besides I was always right.

Fast forward to today...

God has blessed me with an awesome mate that loves me beyond measure. Walking into this relationship, I was open to change. I want to know what it is to be a wife & not always have to be in control. I do have my moments, and he has no problem with putting me back into my place & I am more then ok with that.(smile)

I told him that I wanted to be June Cleaver with a Job. I want to allow him to have the final say.

I know some women may read this and say I'm crazy.

But hey, this is what I want.

My hubby isn't demanding, and he's the calmest, most laid back person I know. He never stresses over the small stuff and always keeps a cool head. I, on the other hand, can get out of pocket at times and I'm always trying to over think the situation. We have a perfect balance.

So if we have the perfect balance, why do I have this fear of failing again? Why am I afraid that something is going to happen?